Photography by Kayte Demont
Here’s one thing that I’ve learned over the past couple of weeks: I can no longer put energy into people who don’t care to put energy into me. For too long have I been putting others needs above my own, always trying to empathize with their view of the story, always wanting to make sure that I wasn’t causing any ripples or waves – wanting everyone to like me.
Here’s another thing I learned over the past couple of weeks: I literally give no fucks anymore. I have very high standards of my relationships (both personal and professional) and I expect the same level of respect and energy in return, because I give that much to people I care about.
It can be a painful thing when you realize that things in your life have changed so much that the only viable option is to just let go. It’s sad when you come to terms with the fact that it’s no longer serving you to worry or put in effort when the other party seemingly has no intention of reciprocating.
Here’s the reality: Yes, sometimes it fucking sucks to have to change and evolve. What I’ve truly discovered during this most recent phase of change, despite the hurt feelings, is that I’m one step closer to solidifying the people who are actually on my team and want to cheer me on as I chase my dreams. By letting go of stale or negative energy, or even just energy that I’ve grown out of, I’m making room for more fruitful and valuable connections. Room for people and opportunities that make me feel so loved and cherished as a friend and/or colleague that my internal strength has grown more and more and I no longer care what other people think. It’s just not worth exhausting myself by worrying myself with drama.
It was a tough and painful lesson to learn, but I’m on the other side feeling SO grateful for who is around me. I feel happier than I’ve felt in years and I’m inspired in ways I’ve never been inspired before. It’s wild.
I hope that if you’re reading this and you’re struggling in any capacity, you realize that it does get better. Growth can hurt like a bitch but if you persevere, it can be one of the most beautiful experiences of your entire life.
**These photos were taken during my last trip to Los Angeles with my dear friend Alex Pettinato. Talk about a woman who vibrates on a higher frequency! Alex has continuously shown up as both a friend and creative colleague and she constantly inspires me with her work and kind disposition. Her energy and her creativity are next level and I’m so honored to know such an incredible individual! Also how EFFING ADORABLE is her puppy Milo?