Edits by Kayte Demont
One of the most difficult things about getting sober was facing my demons and actually dealing with the shit storm of bullshit that my life had somehow transpired to. During that process, I acknowledged that I had completely lost my sense of self and spent hours and hours toiling over who I was, desperately trying to gain back the confidence that had slipped through my fingers. Where was that confident spitfire of a little girl I once was. Had I really become that jaded by life? Had I become that insecure that I needed other outside forces building me up to be okay? Because honestly, that’s some bullshit! I am way stronger of a person than that and I knew it (probably why it was so difficult to admit that I needed help because I was embarrassed that I had lost grip on my true self).
Lately, I’ve had several people very close to me reach out for help. Their explanations of their feelings have been eerily similar to mine and I can’t help but think that this is a sign that I need to keep pushing forward. There is a reason why I am doing what I do and why I am on such a rampage to help people figure out their path and their true selves – maybe this means it’s working? Regardless, if I can inspire people to take a look deeper within themselves in order to find out how they actually want to live and be happy, then I’m absolutely, 100%, going to do it.
On a lighter note, part of finding myself and gaining back that confidence that I lost before and while getting sober, is getting back in touch with the concept of “silly.” Too often, we are confined to societal beliefs of how we “should” and “shouldn’t” act. Guess what? There are literally no rules. The stipulations that are in place were technically put there by people who initially made them up. Who says we can’t rewrite them? For me, this means continuing to create a blog that isn’t like any other one out there. To push the boundaries of creativity and collaboration. To band together with other people who are going through the same things so that we can support each other and get through life like a true community. In my mind, being absolutely ridiculous and silly is one of life’s greatest pleasures. Sure, it’s a little scary and intimidating to commit to doing something a little outlandish or out of your comfort zone, but damnit does it feel good after you do!
A few weeks ago, Heather and I met up with Julie at My Haute Society and Denver Photo Collective pink photoshoot. Wearing pink really isn’t my thing anymore, but I’ve been craving a good girls day and/or blogger event that included dressing up and taking photos. This shoot was the perfect combination of all of the above. I shot Julie looking adorable with a piece of chocolate cake (honestly she’s the only person I know who still looks FLAWLESS while eating anything, let alone chocolate cake). She shot me rocking my favorite sequin disco jacket and Heather made us look and feel like a rap duo in a secret room we found tucked away behind the set. It was fun, it was silly, it was genuinely connecting with two epic humans in a healthy and productive way.
Here’s to finding ourselves, finding our way, and tapping into a sillier version of life. It’s boring to take yourself too seriously, you know?
If you want to get silly and hang out with like-minded people, come to the next tribe meetup! Details here.